Checking In

Hello again. I really never meant to abandon this blog. Maybe I can get back to it again someday. Most of you follow me on FB so you are still in touch with me anyway. This blog is just for deeper, more private thoughts, and apparently I've not had the energy to express any of them. ;)

I just read my last post, which was from just over a year ago. Wow. Unfortunately not much has changed. My house is still a horrible mess that I struggle to try to fix, but never succeed. I think that at the time of my last update, I had been diagnosed with undifferentiated spondyloarthropathy. (I think that's where we were at that time...can't remember WHEN things happen very well.) But at some point, I think last spring, my doctor decided that was not a good diagnosis, as I wasn't responding to the medication. I'm now diagnosed with fibromyalgia, which seems to fit much more. I have 16 out of 18 tender-points, and several other spot-on symptoms. I started out trying to deal with it with no meds, but I've since added tramadol and now gabapentin, both of which are really helping. But I'm still not very active and my house is still a mess. I need to make more of an effort.

I am still at the same job and I still hate it. But I'm in the process of getting hired as a permanent employee instead of a temp, which at least will get me a little more money.

I am GOING TO ENGLAND! Which anyone who might read this will already know from my FB and the WD. I'm very, very excited about it. I'm excited about seeing my wonderful WDers (some for the first time, some AGAIN). I'm excited about seeing England. I'm excited about finally doing something FUN. I think the last time I went anywhere (save a day trip to a local convention in Boston) was the Firefly convention in November of 09. That is far too long to go without doing anything fun. But being poor and sick will do that to you. So, in conclusion, EXCITED!

I also just realized that Blogger is now attached to Google+. I've just deleted something more private I was going to talk about, because this blog is probably much more findable than I desire.

;)

Blech

I know I haven't blogged in a very long time, save for 12 of 12. And even that I haven't done for the past two months. Last month I had a terrible flu and was sleeping most of the day. Yesterday, I was very tired and couldn't make the effort. Plus, my days are SO boring that it's getting embarrassing to show how boring they are for 12 of 12.

I hate my job so much. It's sucking the life out of me. I'm depressed that I can't find anything better. And I'm not even making enough money to cover my bills, and I'm pissing through my savings.

I have been very tired and depressed. I can't keep up with my housework, and my house is a disgusting mess, and then that makes me feel even worse. I'm trying to figure out how to get out of this hole, but no success so far.

This new fucking disease of mine is sucking, too. It makes me so tired, and I'm in pain, and then I'm more tired.

It's a struggle just to get laundry done, to do the grocery shopping, and keep up with the dishes. Those are the bare necessities. But the rest of the housework is suffering and making me more depressed. I'm too tired to look for a new job. Too tired to clean this fucking house up. Too tired to fix any of this. I slept most of yesterday. Today I got a LITTLE housework done, but not enough. Some shit went down with my mom that just sucked any remaining energy out of me. I am considering calling in sick to work tomorrow to work on the house some more.

There's a lot of shit between my crazy mother and my sister that's making me very anxious and depressed too, but I can't even get into that.

And I know I'm totally cheating my boy out of a decent place to live, and of a decent mom.

I need to fix this. It's just so hard right now.

12 of 12 - December

Welcome to the Very Special Christmas Episode of 12 of 12!

1:05 pm, living room
My tree. We put it up yesterday, but wanted to let the branches fall before decorating it.
Ok, fine - I was too tired/lazy to decorate it yesterday.

1:10 pm, living room
While we were getting the tree yesterday, we got a poinsettia, too. Since they're poisonous to cats, I've never had one before. And I may never get to have one again.

1:15 pm, kitchen
French Toast. It was much yummier than it looks in the picture.

2:00 pm, living room
Today's coffee cup.

2:35 pm, living room
My new LED Christmas lights. I ♥ them so much.

3:22 pm, living room
Some of my new ornaments. Shiny!

5:18 pm, living room
This is not even the first space ship I have hung on my tree.

5:25 pm, living room
This is The Boy's Christmas stocking, which his grandmother cross-stitched for him when he was teeny-tiny.

6:00 pm, living room
The finished tree...

6:01 pm, living room
...and lit up.

6:15 pm, living room
Baby-girl's ornament. We miss her.

9:40 pm, living room
Some goodies I put together to share at work tomorrow.

12 of 12 - November

*preamble*

5:40 am, kitchen
As usual, my morning coffee. And one for the road.

6:32 am, car
I am running late today. (But traffic was kind, and I only ended up being 5 minutes late...that's practically on-time!)

6:52 am, my car
Pretty sky, this morning. Even since we went back to Daylight Savings Time, it's been a bit light out for my morning commute. Much better than driving to work in the dark in the morning. :D

12:40 pm, break room
Lunch time. I've already eaten, but here's everything else I need for lunch: water, phone/music, knitting.

4:25 pm, car
Stopped to get a few things at the grocery store on the way home.

4:29 pm, car
And now the sun is going down.

4:32 pm, parking lot
Someone's throwing away a recliner. Anyone want it?

4:32 pm, parking lot
tree silhouette

7:20 pm, living room
The Boy, now with short hair!

8:25 pm, my room
Exactly two weeks ago, my poor old kitty finally crossed over the Rainbow Bridge. We miss her very much. I got this very pretty urn for her ashes. She deserves something pretty.

9:18 pm, living room
My latest knitting project, a shrug for my niece.

12 of 12 - October

It's 12 of 12 time again!

5:06 am, kitchen
Good morning!

5:08 am, kitchen
My magic machine.

5:20 am, kitchen
Two lunches, ready to go into their bags.

5:22 am, kitchen
Coffeeeeeeeee! <3

5:22 am, kitchen
And one for the road...

6:24 am, my car
It is too freaking early for this.

6:29 am, my car
I love the whole squiggly-light effect.

10:32 am, break room at work
Book, snack, and knitting.

2:20 pm, restroom at work
self-portrait

4:18 pm, my car
I LOVE the foliage this time of year.

9:50 pm, living room
Charging my phone. Funnily enough, I have a pic of kitty with her laser eyes, so it looks like she's charging her lasers.

10:10 pm, kitchen
Time for kitty's meds.

12 of 12 - September - sort of

It's 12 of 12 time again! Problem is, I was WAY behind on my housework, and needed to do that for most of the day. That makes for boring pictures, so I spared you all.

You're welcome.

That means, however, that I only managed to capture eleven pictures of the day:

9:45 am, kitchen
Coffee, of course. It's the start of every day.

10:30 am, bedroom
One of my pieces of flair.
10:47 am, living room
Kitty is hanging out with me this morning.
12:15 pm, living room
My new knitting book. I'm very excited!
12:18 pm, living room
Timmy. Now pantsless.
12:20 pm, living room
Kitty is doing her best Bill the Cat impersonation today.
(Her pupils are two different sizes. I don't know what's causing it, but it's happened a few times now. As she is very elderly, I don't want her being poked and prodded by the vet too much. As long as she's acting fine and seems happy, we're just going to keep on keeping on.)
6:46 pm
This is my new phone. I'm in love.
7:10 pm, living room
My shopping list. I'll have to stop on my way home from work tomorrow.
7:15 pm, living room
Watching a DVD. Can you name the actor and show? Extra points for the episode.
7:20 pm, living room
Adding music to my MP3 player.
7:30 pm, kitchen
Dinner's ready. Quiche.

12 of 12 - August

Good grief, I haven't blogged in a month! *blush* Anyway, it's 12 of 12 time again...so here we go:

5:25 am, living room
I had COMPLETELY forgotten it was the 12th! Good thing Chad had tweeted about it. And I checked my tweets.

5:28 am, living room
Since I'd forgotten, there's no shot of my coffee being poured. But here's today's cup, from one of my favorite games, Whack Your Boss.
6:05 am, bathroom
Frak. I dropped and broke my mirror. Guess we'll get started on the bad luck of Friday the 13th a day early!
6:52 am, ride to work
Going around a rotary, nearly at work
6:53 am, ride to work
train bridge
6:55 am, ride to work
pretty fountain :D
10:30 am, break room at work
Time for my break, these are my necessities
4:35 pm, ride home
Action shot! This fire truck was rushing by.
4:42 pm, pharmacy
Ok, see...my cat had an appointment at her doctor's office on Wednesday. So on Tuesday night, I cut her nails, to make the visit easier on the doctor and staff. I've cut her nails a million times. At least. But this time, it went horribly wrong. Long story short, I'm here to pick up the antibiotics my doctor called into the pharmacy for me, for my bite wounds.
5:20 pm, bedroom
Here's my sweet kitty! For the record, I'm not upset with her for the biting. She's an old, cranky lady, and she didn't want her nails cut. I got careless and blame myself for the bites.
6:48 pm, bathroom
Here are the aforementioned bites. It should also be noted that I bruise like a peach, and this is not as bad as it probably looks.
7:30 pm, living room
Beads-that-will-soon-be-a-bracelet for my cousin Janine's baby, Isabella.

Shortly after the bracelet was completed, I fell asleep for the night.